Coming Out Stories: Inspired By a Quotation From the Documentary Paris is Burning, I Write about Growing Up Gay in Louisiana

Paris is Burning © 1990 - a documentary about the gay ballroom scene in New York City.

N.B. This post is about growing up gay; and as such, it deals with content that some may find offensive. I know there is a lot of heat about the Tayler Swift Song "You Need to Calm Down" - but I will say to my possible haters: "You are somebody that I don't know / But you're taking shots at me like its Patron." And I don't even drink Patron!

     I am a slow learner. Growing up gay in South Louisiana in the early 1990s I had no idea there was a subculture just for me. I could have had a family. I could have been like the fem boys and the drag sisters and mothers of the street. I could have jumped on the Greyhound bus in Mandeville, Louisiana and landed as a street kid in New York City. However, as a twelve-year-old kid who had a semblance of his own gayness, I did not come out to my friends as gay until I was seventeen years old (which is an entirely different story) - and I was not out to any of my family members until way later in life (when I was in my 20s and 30s). I remember my mom asked me when I was about sixteen if I were gay and I flat-out said: "No, Mom." I did not have to think about it. I was not ready to go down that road. I think I had a deep sense of secrecy because I had internalized that my gayness was not something to share. It was a part of me but it was not something I wanted other people to know. And as the kids in Jennie Livingston's documentary Paris is Burning attest to - coming out as gay was not a safe option - even for the ballroom kids. In fact, it was the rejection of their gayness that led the ballroom kids to ascend on New York City's underground club scene in the first place where they ineluctably formed their own version of families (called "houses").

     I recently watched the documentary (which I am ashamed to say was my first viewing). I had only seen clips on Youtube and had listened to Ru Paul Charles preach about the film on her cable TV reality show Ru Paul's Drag Race  - which has gathered a lot of its aesthetic and jolt from the ballroom culture. Ru Paul rightfully references the show on her show - and I think she sees it as "a peering into" the world of drag culture that perhaps not many people are privy to. I could have used the truth of Paris is Burning growing up. I am sure my story is not unique. Growing up in the suburbs - which the filmmaker Xavier Dolan once said was "the place where dreams and ambitions go to die" - I wanted something more than "this provincial life." Thank you, Belle. Little did you know that as a gay kid Disney's animated bibliophilic French country girl was my hero. When you are gay - and you do not have a lot of representation in movies and on television - you go and find it; you make it; you see it in the subtext - which is probably why gay folk are really good at reading between the lines (and why some of us have made a name for ourselves in literary theory). Looking back on it I was crafty as a kid. I consumed gay identity - but I did it covertly and I was careful about learning how to be gay. I think I failed because when I went to my twenty-year high school reunion no one was surprised; I realize now that the superlative I received in the yearbook for "most friendly" was actually a substitute for "most gay." In the 90s there were emerging examples of gay representation but you had to look for it. I did buy a copy of XY magazine at the newsstand (I had to go in the back and look behind the Playgirls; but I found it - and I was internally satisfied by the magazine's outright celebration of gay male beauty. As a way of marking my gay desire, I did cut out my favorite pin-ups and pasted them in my notebook (that is a true story). I also hunted the shelves of the local public library for gay-themed books. I stumbled upon a copy of Gore Vidal's The City and the Pillar and read its frank discussion of surreptitious male desire and came to understand that homosexual desire was not only universal (not just tacked on to my identity) but something that existed and has existed for a long time and in different civilizations and dispensations.

    I say I am a slow learner because I have accumulated gay culture in drips and drabs. In 1996 I discovered the musical Rent - and I listened to it with my friend Jonathan like a billion times - along with tracks from Tori Amos's album Under the Pink and Crash Test Dummies. As a teenager, I was a theater kid. Being involved in community and school theater helped me to form my first sense of belonging. It was the closest I got to the ballroom scene as a kid. Not to say I was out in the small theater world I participated in (nor were any of my friends). We were the kids who did not do sports, were not especially interested in academic accolades, and we just wanted a space to hang out, to be on stage, to work together and to put on plays. My closest friends were straight boys and girls; and very rarely did sexuality ever come up in conversation; I never had a gay friend or lover in high school, and, as an adult, I was surprised when someone I knew in high school had come out as gay as an adult. Austin, for example, was a shy kid in my Seventh Grade American history class; his father was the vice principal of the school; he made excellent grades and he was intelligent and well-spoken; however, I don't think we ever socialized. Ever. Why didn't we connect as kids? Being gay is not an immediate reason to become besties, apparently. I had heard on Facebook that he had come out in college and he was, according to a mutual friend, very gay.

Video Installation: Striking a Pose at the Great Falls in Paterson, New Jersey

Adam Driver plays a bus driver-cum-poet in the movie Paterson 

In this post, I document a recent visit to Paterson, New Jersey to see the Great Falls. 

On the way to our mutual friend's wedding, my friend and I stopped at the Great Falls in Paterson, New Jersey. It is an exciting site because in Paterson (back in the day) engineers (with the support of Alexander Hamilton) discovered a way to harness the sheer power and velocity of the falls by converting moving water into energy using a series of waterways and hydropower. The falls are the second-largest waterfall east of the Mississippi - by volume ( but for me: it is just really relaxing and beautiful). The town of Patterson has a lot of history and impressive architecture - and there is a third reason - Adam Driver - he plays a New Jersey Transit bus driver-turned-poet in the movie Paterson - where in one scene he makes a pit stop at the Falls to conjure up some inspiration. I don't claim to be an Adam Driver; however, I am certainly one to espouse the practice of making art from the everyday details of life.

Where do you go to sit and relax (and perhaps get inspired)? Do you have such a place? Or, do you have to find it?

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Dinner at Amherst College's Valentine Dining Hall Yields Dogtime - Plus Some Thoughts on the Fourth of July

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A Great Dane lies her weary, hungry head on the dining room table. #dogs #dinnertime #greatdane #dogface #dogportait #amherst

A post shared by Greig Roselli (@greigroselli) on Jul 4, 2019 at 8:17pm PDT

    For July, I will be a student at Amherst College, studying punishment with Professor Austin Sarat. I am here with fifteen or so educators. We live on campus during our time here as National Endowment for the Humanities Summer Scholars. I am living in a dorm on campus — called the Charles Drew House. The house was once the home of a guy named Seelye who was an Amherst Alum. Now it is a themed-house named in honor of the African American surgeon Charles Drew. Today is a National Holiday — the Fourth of July — so there are no classes, and the college is closed; however, the dining hall is open during the holiday, so those of us who have nowhere else to go can eat here! One of the teachers has a service dog — a Great Dane named Daisy. Tonight for dinner, before watching the Fourth of July fireworks at the University of Massachusetts campus, I chomp on edamame and chicken breast. Daisy joins us. So does Mike - a Catholic High School Theology teacher and Aklima - an English teacher in Flushing — and Matt — a Middle School teacher from Philadelphia. Anne - a social studies teacher from Florida — joins us too.
    I am excited to be in a new place. A new environment — even if it is just for a month. After dinner on campus — we pile into a public bus headed for the fireworks display. It is a slab gray bus and the bus driver, sporting a blue tee, flashes a smile, and welcomes us aboard. American fireworks are a display of patriotism - that is for sure — but it is also a day when people do not mind staking out a patch of green, laying out a blanket, and lounging in the dark with a bottle of beer and snacks. I lay on the grass, feeling tired from all of the excitement and take in the show. For such a small town - it feels like everyone is out tonight. The fireworks are colorful and loud — emanating sound and light from the center of the UMASS football field. It transpires in a flash. Lights. Shouts. Ohhhhhs. Ahhhhhs. And darn. The buses are not running to take us home to the Charles Drew dorm. We walk back, up to the hill, past picturesque houses and driveways, to the dorm. I say goodnight to Emily Dickinson. "I dwell in possibility," I say to my pillow. Goodnight.

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Travels in Summer: A Cadillac Parked in the River Terrace Neighborhood of Washington Reminded Me of My Childhood

The U.S. Capitol in Washington is so often photographed, reproduced, and televised - it doesn’t feel real. Why is that? Why does the reproducibility of an object produce its unattainable-ness? #questions #self #nation #washingtondc #uscapitoldome

                          ***

A green Cadillac is parked on a residential street
in the River Terrace neighborhood of D.C.

I collected Matchbox cars when I was a youngster, and this classic car parked on a leafy side street in Northeast Washington reminded me of one of my old diecast cars. I went to Washington to see a few pals (and made some new friends). I stayed at an Airbnb hosted by this actor-cum-airport-employee named Shaun (who was super nice). Walking from the AirBnB, I spotted this car. Now mind you - it has been super-hot these past few days - and D.C. was no different. However, I really enjoyed being outside, and I spent a lot of my time in the Capitol, exploring nature and the outdoors. Shaun's house is located in the River Terrace neighborhood of the District adjacent to the Anacostia River. One can access a bunch of trails from this spot - I walked from R.F.K. Stadium across Benning Road Bridge a few times. It is a gorgeous walk! And if you are a train, subway, or general rail enthusiast, it opens you to a magnificent view of the city's Metro trains that course along on an open, elevated trestle across the river. I was struck by how much I had been missing being outdoors ever since I moved to New York City. New York has great parks - don't get me wrong - but it never feels like the outdoors. D.C. has some spectacular trails and nature views for the adventurous. Give it a try.  #washington #oldcars #neighborhoodstreets

Flowers on Kingman Island (District of Columbia)

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Photo : A Snail Climbs Up A Wall (And a Joke about Snails)

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A snail crawls up a stone wall. Hey, 🐌, do you know where that escargot went?

A post shared by Greig Roselli (@greigroselli) on May 26, 2019 at 3:59pm PDT

After taking this photo of a snail climbing up the wall of a friend's house, I was reminded of the following joke that circulated among us high school French students back in the day:

Car Salesman: What can I do for you today?
Snail: I want to buy a car.
Car Salesman: OK. Let me show you some of our newest models.
Snail: I know what I want. I want that car over there (points to a rad sports car). But when I buy it I want you to print the letter "S" all over the car.
Car Salesman: Excellent choice, Mr. Snail; but, may I ask why do you want the letter "S" printed all over your new car?
Snail: Because when people see me they'll say, 'Look at the Escargot!".

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Philosophy in the Classroom: Sample Student Work on Plato's Allegory of the Cave (With Thirteen and Fourteen-Year-Old Kids)

Sample Work from Mr. Roselli's 8th Grade Ethics Class

Planning an Eighth Grade Ethics Curriculum at a Private School in Queens
I taught the 8th Graders every Tuesday as part of my teaching load this past school year. I teach at a private, independent school in the Jackson Heights neighborhood of Queens. The kids are receptive to learning - albeit a rowdy bunch. The class was split into two. So basically I saw each group every other week. The class was PASS/FAIL and I put a lot of emphasis on student participation, talking, and group work. I uploaded content for them to read and view on Google Classroom so I did not have to spend a lot of time going over the material in class. Here is a short overview of one particular lesson I did (with some student work).

Reading Plato's Allegory of the Cave in a Middle School Ethics Class
We read Plato's cave in class - using a lesson I had created (and which you can access here). The kids were in eighth grade - so they would be thirteen or fourteen years old.

Kids' Understanding of Plato's Ideas

Students jot down their summary ideas to get the gist.

The one takeaway I noticed with this age group is that they totally "got" the idea of most people's inability to change a mindset and think through a different perspective. I feel like that is indicative of the age group - most kids that age have difficulty understanding and processing different points of view. They recognize others' points of view, but since they are often self-focused and not other-focused, they spend a lot of energy and anxiety over whether or not people "get" their point of view. They desperately want to be understood (which is human). In this example, from student work, I had the kids present their own visual representation of Plato's cave. These three students, Isabel, Ryan, and Hayden, were very much fixated on the idea that enlightenment is pretty much impossible. Notice how they put an exit sign in the cave with the label "unachievable".

Getting Students to Jot Down Their Ideas

The lingo teachers use is "getting the gist". You are not looking for kids to pen a dissertation. But you want students to produce something written in the course of the lesson. The comments they made were original, and I liked how they understood Plato's dual reality theory. It is not an easy concept to get, but they really appreciated it. From a writing perspective, it is vital to get students to jot down their ideas - even if it is a few sentences or even a list of words. It helps the kids solidify their thoughts. And also it helps me, the teacher, to scan for student understanding.

Using Visual Imagery to Make Connections with Students

After exploring the ideas of the lesson, students can talk about the above image. What do they notice? What do they wonder? Collect the students' responses.

Class: Eighth Grade Ethics / 90 Minute Lesson (you can break it down into two separate 45-minute lessons)
Materials: paper, pencils, pen, handouts of the Allegory of the Cave, Comprehension Questions, Discussion Questions, Entrance, and Exit Tickets

My TpT store has resources for
middle and high school English teachers

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Whose Quotation Is It?: "You Greeks Are Like Children"

Ancient Ruins

“You Greeks are like children.” An Egyptian priest has reprimanded Solon, a Sixth Century Greek diplomat, about why Egypt has been around for quite a while longer than the Greeks. The Egyptians are having none of that. Greek civilization at that time was still too young to boast of its own greatness. Grow up a bit, the Egyptian advises.

But what is the veracity of this quote and where does it really originate?

There is a general rule of thumb that if you read a quotation online purported to be penned by a famous writer, politician, or philosopher, it is best to be skeptical, especially if the quote is not cited with a reference to an actual book or solid source. Plato said it? Abraham Lincoln said it? Hillary Clinton said it? I'd be wary if the citation is not complete. It has happened to me several times that I found a quote that I liked (and even posted it here) only to later find out that its authorship is unknown.

A Quick Internet Search Has Yielded a Researcher’s Headache

A few years ago, I was an assistant to a political scientist - he needed someone to come to his house in Staten Island to work on a manuscript he was writing about emerging global markets. One job I had was to track down quotes he wanted to use in his book. “Research Solon's remarks about ‘You Greeks are like children’,” he told me. It was a seemingly easy quote to track down because I knew the story from History. Solon did indeed visit Egypt in the Sixth Century B.C.E. But who actually recorded the interchange between the priest and Solon: “You Greeks are like children …”?

Find Lesson plans to teach philosophy in the classroom
on my TpT store

A quick Internet search showed that apparently, Plato was the one who immortalized the exchange between the Egyptian priest and Solon - but as I mentioned earlier, I could not find a hard source. However, I finally found the source - after doing a series of searches in the Complete Works of Plato - I found it. The quote comes from Plato’s Timaeus. In this book, Plato has Socrates and his friends talking about a bunch of things, but one strand that runs through the dialogue is the creation of the world. Solon appears in the dialogue because of Critias - one of Plato’s cousins! He tells the story of Solon visiting Egypt. An old priest stands up and says:

“‘Ah, Solon, Solon, you Greeks are ever children. There isn’t an old man among you.’ On hearing this, Solon said, ‘What? What do you mean?’ ‘You are young,’ the old priest replied, ‘young in soul, every one of you. Your souls are devoid of beliefs about antiquity handed down by ancient tradition. Your souls lack any learning made hoary by time.’” (Timaeus 22 b-c)*

*Plato,  and John M. Cooper. Complete Works. Indianapolis: Hackett, 2009. Print.