Stones of Erasmus — Just plain good writing, teaching, thinking, doing, making, being, dreaming, seeing, feeling, building, creating, reading
29.4.24
Fostering Textual Ownership: Passionate Teacher Explores Literacies & Strategies. Periodt. 📚
29.8.23
Prudence, Wisdom, and Self-Care: The Uncommon Story of Zeus and Metis
We've all heard of Zeus, the King of the Gods, known for his godly escapades and tumultuous love affairs. However, little is spotlighted about Metis, Zeus’s first wife and the Greek personification of prudence. Often sidelined by mainstream mythological tales, the story of Zeus and Metis carries essential lessons on prudence, wisdom, and self-care—virtues that have seemingly fallen by the wayside in today's fast-paced world.
The Misunderstanding of Prudence
Unfortunately, prudence often suffers from a negative connotation, easily confused with being a prude or overly cautious. Yet, the virtue signifies the art of making thoughtful and balanced decisions that bring the least harm and greatest good. A case in point is Prudential, one of America’s leading insurance companies, built on the very tenets of safeguarding and caution.
The Transformative Tale of Zeus and Metis
In Greek mythology, Metis embodies the virtue of prudence. Pursued by Zeus, she transforms into various animals to escape his advances—a common trope in Greek mythology. Zeus, afraid that Metis would bear a child more powerful than him, swallows her whole. While this may seem like the end for Metis, she continues to live within Zeus, imparting wisdom and prudential advice.
Wisdom Versus Prudence
The child born from this unique union is Athena, the goddess of wisdom. However, it's suggested that Athena lacks the maternal warmth that defined Metis. Herein lies the nuanced difference between wisdom and prudence: wisdom often focuses on knowledge and rational decisions, while prudence adds an emotional layer, emphasizing care for oneself and others.
The Self-Care Connection
The Living Legacy of Metis
While Metis might have met an unfortunate end, her essence lived on, both in Zeus’s wisdom and Athena’s intellect. This eternal legacy serves as a lesson that prudence, wisdom, and self-care are deeply intertwined virtues, worth much more than their misunderstood reputations.
Through the tale of Zeus and Metis, we find a treasure trove of life lessons waiting to be applied in our own lives. Far from being forgotten, their story teaches us that prudence is not a constraint.
Find Mythology Content and More! On the Stones of Erasmus Store |
26.4.23
Celebrating 1,000 Posts: Reflecting on My Blogging Journey on Stones of Erasmus (Is it a Milestone Worth Celebrating? Yes! I Think it Is.)
Initially, my blog was a mishmash of embarrassing pieces of poetry and ersatz literary criticism, sprinkled in with some theology and movie reviews. Over time, my blog has evolved and become more focused. Although it still includes some of those early elements, such as movie reviews and records of my visits to random art museums, it now features a lot of educational content related to my teaching career.
One of my earliest obsessions was making things up, and my journey as a teacher has allowed me to indulge that passion. I create digital educational resources such as clip art and lesson plans that I share on my blog. I also write about my creations, sharing my experiences with my readers.
A Writer's Blog As An Excuse To Journal
The Future of Blogging
Another student asked me why I continue to write my blog when long-form writing appears dead. My blog is more permanent than other forms of social media, and I enjoy the idea that more people are likely to stumble upon it, whether through a Google search or a link somewhere. I am always surprised when old posts receive a resurgence, such as a post I wrote years ago about words from Greek mythology or a post I wrote about The Iliad, which has remained popular for some reason. The difference between long-form blogging and other types of content on the internet is that blog writers offer a unique perspective on things. I enjoy reading other blogs, such as those written by nannies or teachers, because they share their personal experiences, which is powerful.
As my blog has evolved, I have also learned some important lessons about writing. One of the most important lessons is to keep writing, even when I do not like it. I easily get discouraged when I get few views or comments on my blog. However, I have learned that if I keep writing, eventually, people will discover my work, and it will find an audience.
Another lesson I have learned is the importance of editing. Writing is a process that takes time to craft a well-written post. I often write several drafts before I am happy with the final version. It is also essential to proofread my work carefully, looking for spelling and grammatical errors. Reading my work out loud is helpful, as this helps me catch mistakes I might have missed otherwise.
Finally, I have learned that blogging is a community activity. Blogging is not just about writing for myself but also about connecting with others with similar interests.
- Grandson and Grandfather: Birthday Portrait
- Story from the Classroom: A Severe Whooshing Sound
- Top Ten Movies in Black & White
- Blaise Pascal On The Contradictory Nature of Human Beings
- Repost from Kurt Vonnegut: Liberal Crap I Don't Want to Hear Anymore
- Book Review: Repulsion as Metaphor
- Travel Postcard: That Time I Visited a Public Library in Saltillo, Mexico
- On Writer's Block — A Journal & Rant
- Thinking About the Roman God Janus On New Year’s Eve
- On St. Ann and Bourbon: A Story of a Mardi Gras Day
1.11.19
Lesson Plan: Teaching New York City with the Musical "On the Town"
I created a fun, engaging lesson for Middle and High School students inspired by the Broadway-turned-MGM-film-classic "Our Town." |
I created a lesson plan based on my classroom experience that is three days long, and I used it for my English Language Learners (ESL), but it also fits for a Humanities, English Language Arts, or Social Studies lesson.
- 1 Lesson Planning Guide and Calendar
- 1 Cloze Passage Worksheet
- Lecture Notes for the Teacher
- 1 Guided Notetaking Organizer
- 6 Editable Google Slide Templates
- 2 Color NYC Landmarks Contact Sheets
- 1 NYC Itinerary Template
- 1 NYC Map Template
- 1 NYC Map Resource List
- List of New York City Regional Transit Maps (including the New York City Subway)
- *Google Classroom / App Friendly Resource*
- Unit on New York City History
- ESL Class for English Language Learners
- Middle School Humanities
- Using Census Data to Explore Ethnic Diversity in New York City Neighborhoods
- Geography Awareness using a Blank World Map
15.6.19
Lesson Plans, Activities, Printables, Editables, and More that I have Created and Made Available for Teachers
Formative Assessments
Short English Language Test for ELLs - I created this assessment to assess my English Language learners in September. You can use it as a short, formal assessment of language skills.
Long English Language Test for ELLs - I created this longer assessment to assess my students at the end of the semester. There are three versions.
Greek and Roman Mythology
Teaching Greek and Roman myths is a favorite topic among upper elementary and middle school students. Here are some resources I created that touch on some of my favorite topics.*10 Words and Phrases Derived from Greek Mythology - From my blog, here are ten words and phrases popularly used in the English language.
21 Frayer Model Set for Myth-related Literary Terms and Vocabulary - Are you teaching a unit on myth or mythology? Do you want your students to learn academic vocabulary related to this topic? Research shows that teaching vocabulary in context is the best practice for long term retention. Using Frayer models are a proven method to do this effectively in the classroom when teaching literature and non-fiction texts. Get your students actively engaged with vocabulary — and have them proudly display their creations!
The Myth of Icarus: A Cautionary Tale from Ancient Greece - Introduce your students to a fairly popular Greek moral tale about an ambitious inventor and his erstwhile son. I have created a 3-day lesson plan filled with activities to get your students thinking critically about this important mythological text.
Mythology Series: The Ancient Greek Myth of King Tantalus - Engage English Language Arts Students (grades 8-9) with the ancient Greek Myth of Tantalus — the deceiver who thought he was equal to the gods!
Mythology Series: The Ancient Greek Myth of Sisyphus - The myth of Sisyphus is the original rolling stone. Kids will love tracking down the allusions to this extraordinary Greek hero tale. Aligned with Common Core Standards, this individual lesson pack prompts students to discuss the myth, to compare it to other works of art, to work in groups, and to complete a writing activity.
Ready-to-Go-Activity: 10 Everyday Words and Phrases in Greek Mythology - I updated my blog post on words and phrases from Greek myth and made it into a usable resource for teachers in the classroom.
Homesick: My Own Story by Jean Fritz
Jean is a ten-year-old American girl living in the British settlement in Hankow, China in the 1920s. In this autobiographical novel, Jean witnesses major events on the world stage through her own childlike perspective.
Chapter One Lesson Plan Resource
Chapter Two Lesson Plan Resource
Chapter Three Lesson Plan Resource
Chapter Four Lesson Plan Resource
Chapter Five Lesson Plan Resource
Chapter Six Lesson Plan Resource
Chapter Seven Lesson Plan Resource
Homesick: My Own Story Lesson Bundle
Homesick: My Own Story Lesson Super Bundle + Google Forms
Maps and Geography Skills
*Printables: Blank World Map for Printing (with borders) - I like using this gratis, public-domain world map; it's easy to use, has borders, and makes for a good geography quiz template.
Geography Skills Lesson: Ready-to-Use Worksheet with Blank World Map - I made this resource as a simple day one assessment of a student's knowledge of world geography. It's ready-to-go out of the box
Philosophy in the Classroom Series
One of my projects is teaching philosophy in the classroom. Every chance I get I introduce students to philosophical thinking. Here are some polished resources that are classroom-tested and guaranteed to get your class thinking.Caught You! The Ring of Gyges from Plato's Republic* - A FREE lesson plan on justice. If you like it consider the bundle that comes with three self-grading Google Forms!
Plato's Allegory of the Cave in Plain Language - A lesson plan on truth and reality
Philosophy in the Classroom: Nietzsche and Bill Murray in Groundhog Day — A lesson on Nietzsche's concept of eternal recurrence.
Philosophy in the Classroom: "The Parable of the Madman" by Friedrich Nietzsche The phrase "God is dead" has entered into the zeitgeist. But what does this phrase mean? And how and where does the nineteenth-century writer and philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche use it? Answer these questions with your students with Stones of Erasmus's close reading and writing lesson plan resource.
"Discuss any Moral Dilemma!" All-in-One Lesson - A lesson plan for any moral dilemma
Empiricism versus Rationalism - A lesson plan on how we know that we know (and why)
Task Cards for Philosophy Education - "What is Philosophy?" Task Card Set (28 Cards + 2); Freedom Discussion Task Cards (16 Card Set + 2); "The Biq Questions" 44 Task Card Set
Quotes in the Classroom Poster Series
On Boredom (from The Hogfather by Terry Pratchett)
On Who To Bestow Your Talents (Advice from Jesus)
On Judging Appearances (Opposing Viewpoints Discussion)
4-Lesson Quotes Bundle for Middle and High School Classroom Discussion
Writing Graphic Organizer: Thinking About Any Quote or Textual Evidence
Reading Comprehension Resources
Five ELL Reading Comprehension Questions ("Bobby the Math Whiz" - Nonfiction) - Use this text as a reading comprehension worksheet for English Language Learners.
William Blake and Romanticism
William Blake's poetry is mystical and beautiful - and here some lessons I have created about him and his work.
William Blake's "London": Visualizing the Industrial Revolution Through Poetry - Blake's poem is evocative of a time period in history where children worked as chimney sweeps and child labor is London was commonplace - a travesty of the first stages of the Industrial Revolution.
27.10.18
On a Trip to Mystic, Connecticut I Ran into Versions of American History
Can you see Manhattan? |
There is the ship Amistad moored at Mystic. It's a slave ship that was the site of a slave rebellion. Today it sits gleaming and speaks of liberty and the promise of change. However, its rewarding story belies the tragedy of the Middle Passage that claimed millions. Mystic also has a reconstructed version of the Mayflower - it is called the Mayflower II, and it is being revamped and polished for a celebration in 2020 celebrating the original ship's voyage four hundred years ago. The kids on our trip know these stories, and they see in these stories a symbol of religious freedom. However, I am confident that the Europeans who came to the New World were not as pure in their pursuit of liberty and the right to equality as we would like to paint them as in the history books.
You can also see a whaling ship in Mystic - and if you are a good sailor, you might get to talk to a re-enactor. We met a jolly lady who was presenting herself as an immigrant to Mystic who arrived in the 1870s. She had left Alaska after it was sold by the Russians to the United States. She spoke of her voyage, a trip from the islands of Alaska, down to Panama, through the canal, past Jamaica, and then up the Atlantic coast to Long Island Sound. I liked hanging out with the kids. They're city kids — most of the lot — so they were into running around, kicking a soccer ball on the village green - and feeling the cold October air in their face. It is kinda crazy to be chaperoning twelve-year-old kids for forty-eight hours straight, but I loved their energy. Kids that age are full of energy but no focus. It's refreshing.
Hey. If you know all the answers, then you're a fool, right?
13.7.18
Review of Frederick Wiseman's "High School" (1969) and Jean-François Caissy's La Marche à Suivre (2014)
La Marche à Suivre (2014) |
High School (1969) |
7.3.13
A Judgment of Beauty At West Fourth Street Station (And a Rant about Education in These United States)
Maybe there was derisive laughter from this student because beauty and the subterranean chaos of the New York City subway system did not equate in her mind with a notion of beauty, or, it seems to me, the notion of beauty, a capacity to appreciate it - albeit in the slum of the West Fourth Street Station. I felt sad and isolated in front of the class. Not because they missed my point, but I felt isolated in that way a kid feels when they have said something wrong in front of a group of adults. As if I had said the wrong thing to a group of fellow human beings - and I do not think I am over-thinking this moment. I think educators, people like me who spend lots of time in classrooms, have witnessed two critical deformations in intellectual seriousness. First, we are educated to be producers, not thinkers. What this means is that a sharing response to what is beautiful is not what we do in classrooms. Notionally, we should be doing other more important endeavors (what this other stuff is exactly I have not fully ascertained but I get the impression it is dull and prosaic). Second, in the name of entertainment, the public sphere has been dumbed down to such a point that beauty is losing its shareability. I actually had the president of the school where I work tell me and a large group of faculty members that first and foremost the students should be entertained in the classroom. Tell a joke, he said. One time during a midterm exam a student got up from her seat and gave me her test. I asked her why she had not finished it and she told me, "if you had made this class more fun I would know this stuff." I never saw her again. She dropped the class.
13.9.11
Teaching: On Whether It Matters If Students Care
Teachers do care about whether or not their students care. |
While I certainly agree that some students chronically show up late, text, yawn, seem detached, and so on -- I don't think these facts alone demonstrate a lack of caring.
I teach at a community college in New York City. My students juggle family obligations, multiple jobs, and for some of them, court appearances and meetings with a probation officer. Most of them are looking for a second chance. In their late 20s to early 40s, they turn to community college to help them gain an "edge." It's a mixture of chance and hard work that will determine their success.
We live in a society that deems college is for the few. Community colleges want their cake and eat it too. Is it possible to offer everyone a college chance?
The problem is the concept of community college has been a conflation of "trade school" and "associate college." At one time in America, the two were distinct entities. One went to a trade school if you wanted a certificate in air conditioning repair or a plumbing license. The term is seldom used. The elevator I take every morning reveals a vestige of this past. Engraved on an inconspicuous plaque one can see the school I teach used to be a trade school. The moniker has now been mostly eradicated. We say "college" now but we remain ambiguous about what such a "college" should provide.
I teach Introduction to Philosophy. It's better suited to an associate or bachelor undergraduate program. But at my school, it's offered as an elective. The students in my classroom want to be police officers, medical assistants, pharmacist aids, or paralegals. The majority of them do not see the value of philosophy.
Does this mean they don't care?
A teacher who teaches College Algebra also complains her students don't care. "They come in late." I ask her if they see Math as important. "Nothing is important to them," she says.
I too am irked by the tardiness, the texting, the seeming lack of care. But is it lack of care or confusion about what a community college should be.
I'm not sure if you will ever need philosophy to be an effective medical assistant.
Nor will you need "system of equations" or "slope-intercept form" to be a successful police officer.
The confusion lies in what it means to be college-educated.
I'm not saying throw out Introduction to Philosophy or College Math from the community college curriculum.
But we should as teachers address the issue of "care" head-on.
I'm suspicious of teachers who claim students don't care. It's not a matter of students not caring, but more precisely it's a matter of students not knowing HOW to care.
If students don't seem to care then it suggests they were never instructed how to care.
How to teach students to care? Show you care.
Even this alone will win over a few.
The sad reality is that all our students care (this fact alone does not determine their success). They care very much (or they would have never enrolled in the first place). But care is not enough. Other things take hold of our students. Things we can't control.
So all we can do is hope. Hold fast to our expectations. Start class on time (even when only two students out of twenty are on time). Hope.
If we say, "our students don't care" then what we are saying is "I don't care either."
8.1.11
"Apparently" and "Weird": A Report on Colloquial Usage
The words "apparently" and "weird" have taken on a nuanced meaning in contemporary Americana. Jonathan Franzen, in his novel Freedom, first alerted me to the phenomenon of "weird." Everything Patty Berglund notices that should be contested, like her son living with the next-door neighbor, instead of in his own home, is just weird, she says. Anything Patty Berglund doesn't like, "it's weird." The neighbor flicks cigarettes from her window into the baby pool below. Patty Berglund just says, "It's weird."
"Weird" no longer means oddly strange or not normal. Weird is a catch-all phrase for anything a person doesn't understand or agree with. "It's weird," a student told me. I thought she would tell me about a strange occurrence on the way to class, but she only meant her grade. "You gave me a C-."
Instead of, confused, or give me a reason, the epithet I get is weird.
"Awkward" deserves its own post. It's like weird in that it replaces what we'd rather say about a situation or unable to say, so we say weird or awkward instead. Everything is either weird or awkward. I think Franzen is keen to the usage of words, like weird, because the word becomes a substitute for whenever we rather not say what we would like to say, so we just say it's weird or awkward. It's similar to standing in front of a painting at a museum and saying, "That's interesting." We know we like the painting. We just can't give words to what we feel. Weird works like this, but it masks a moral attitude. Patty could have said the neighbor was sociopathic, or mean, or just plain bad. But it's weird. Nothing beyond weird was in her vocabulary. She avoids placing moral blame on an action by substituting right or wrong, just or unjust, with weird.
The word has taken on a moral ambiguity that Franzen links to a propensity to choose not naming an action for what it is out of fear of being labeled weird. By taking the weird stance, I protect myself from being weird.
Anything that threatens becomes weird. Weird is the neologism that defines fear of otherness. Building a Muslim Community Center in Tribecca? That's just weird.
Then there's "apparently." This adverb is everywhere in speech patterns I've overheard. It's supposed to be a useful way to suggest an inductive conclusion based on surface knowledge. "Jorge apparently had not studied because his answer sheet was blank when he turned it in to the teacher."
If something is apparent, it means I know it to be true only at the level of appearance.
People use the word incorrectly to talk about events that are known. "The J train's not running, apparently." Is it running or not? There is no "apparent" in sight. The word insinuates suspicion of a claim on certainty when no such suspicion is necessary. It's weird!
10.9.10
Photograph: After School in Williamsburg
Satmar Hasidic Jewish schoolboys walk home after school in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn. |
24.5.10
What I Eavesdropped at a Recent High School Graduation
The Author as a High School Graduate |
If we need another example of anti-intellectualism in America - there you go.
Or, it could be just ignorance. Legitimately, maybe she did not how music and science can inter-relate.
However she sussed out the situation for herself, it was still a dim reminder to me to of how much my job is often looked at askance - or in a larger view - the often conflicted view Americans have of education.
6.3.10
I Have No Idea What To Call This Rant
“I ate it, knowing the rabbit had sacrificed itself for me. It had made me a gift of meat.” Maxine Hong Kingston.
Education – you might not know – literally means “to lead out,” like guiding a child by the hand as she learns to walk. “To lead out,” then, is a fair starting off point to explore education. For isn’t this what education really is – in both the formal sense of the word – the institution of education – and also in the less formal, the organic sense, the leading that comes from within, not necessarily from without. Just as learning to walk is an education in the literal sense of the word – from guiding your legs across the coffee table for support or swimming out into the deep end without a warm adult body at your side is education – so is the formal discipline of reading, writing and arithmetic a leading out as well – the problem (if you want to call it that) is to think these two concepts together. Education as both something lived and something learned. The art is to put them together. To live and to learn.
Thinking of two spheres of education – the education, as someone once put it – of life – and the education from books, “book learnin'” are convenient ways to think about education. Education is for the elite? Or can you learn everything you need to know from “life”. I work with a man who claims he doesn’t need an education. He told me, “I wouldn’t tell a kid this, but I wouldn’t go back and get an education. I have no regrets about having no education. Books – I don’t remember books – but life, I remember life.” He was resentful that he didn’t pass the CDL exam to drive a truck. He had been grandfathered in – as he put it – forty years ago when he first drove a truck for Camel Express (“Humpin’ to please” was their motto). Now for him to get a job he’d have to pass that test. “Now you tellin’ me that I can drive a truck better than anybody’s business but because I can’t pass the paper test I can’t do it? Put a man with degrees in that truck and let me see him do it. That don’t make no sense.” The things we do to prove that we are competent. That we fit in and can be considered productive members of society are tightly constructed by power and the roles we have been assigned.
I am surrounded by this language. This is the language of people who do not see real value in education. People I know and live with put value in what you can do, not what you can say. “I want to see what you can do,” a boss may say. Words are good for human development and public relations – but work – that don’t got nothing to do with work. The most popular question after what is your name is what do you do? What goes in the inner life of the mind is considered not so important. Down here in the south we are interested in the trajectories of hurricanes, the date of deer hunting season and mardi gras. Which is interesting considering the South has produced some of the best writers the world has ever known.
I have been described by people as a “dreamer,” “having an eidetic imagination,” “space cadet”, “lost in the clouds,” “self-absorbed,” “head in the clouds,” and “not in touch with the obvious,” People – when they catch me thinking have remarked, “What are you doing?” or mimicking a space alien spacecraft have sing-songed, “Do Do Do Do Do – Earth to Greig”. The one about having an eidetic imagination was said by my shrink. The education of the mind – at least in my provincial experience – is not encouraged – instead, we much rather people who can do stuff. Sure – we love a writer – just not when he’s writing. We don’t mind philosophy. We just don’t want to hear it. Give it to me straight. Not complicated. I don’t want to hurt my head.
But what is so terribly wrong about being lost in one’s head? I mean, what bad stuff can possibly happen from thinking too much? Reading too much? Don’t read into it. But why not? What is reading into it going to do? Make you think? God forbid. Just enjoy the movie. Well, I am enjoying it. I do think too much, as my mother pointed out once - and mothers always know.
My mother gave me a beautiful paperweight for Christmas one year. It is in the shape of a bird with a long glass tapered tail and heavy opaque body with a pocket of air trapped inside like bubbles. Without counting the cost I immediately began to wonder out loud what this present could possibly mean. I had the suspicion that this gift had to be symbolic of something and as I began to theorize to my mother a possible interpretation of the gift. I looked up and saw the expression on my mom’s face. I had hurt her feelings. I immediately stopped talking and changed the subject; thanked her for the gift. But, I knew her feelings were still hurt. I don’t blame her. It was just a gift. That was her only rejoinder after my long analysis, “Greig, it’s only a gift. I thought it would look good in your room”.
Now I realize that I was not wrong in analyzing the gift. I had no intention of hurting her feelings or undermining the generosity she bestowed on me in the object of the glass bird paperweight. But my mind could not put down the image of the bird suggesting that I impose meaning on it. For isn’t this what we do? Impose meaning? We are really good at it. We itch to find meaning in everything we see and do. We are not satisfied that a cup is just a cup. It has to be something, an implication of something else. But, alas, I guess a cup is sometimes a cup. (In the back of my mind I am resisting that notion)
Later on, I called Mom on the phone to apologize about the bird paperweight incident. Once I asked for forgiveness it freed her up to voice her feelings about the subject in a way that was beneficial for the both of us. She realized that I had some sensitivity and was not really trying to hurt her feelings. I realized that sometimes it is just best to say you’re sorry and move on. Just the other day I was visiting her at her house. She has twelve oak trees in her yard that she is very proud of as if she planted them herself. When we came back to her house after Hurricane Katrina to survey the damage, the one thing she was worried about were her trees. Her trees were safe. Actually she sustained minimal damage on her property and recently installed an above ground swimming pool on her property – mainly for my niece to paddle around when my brother and his wife come to visit. She was cleaning the pool when I saw her and I brought up the paperweight again. This time in the sense of shared interests. As Mom waded in the pool, removing a bottom layer of collected grime, I opened myself up to her. I brought up the paperweight because I wanted her to know that this is how I think. This is how I perceive the world and I resented – even though I did not verbalize it – this lack of understanding from her because she is very similar. The only difference is education. I am more educated. I’ve got more sheepskins. Mom is a surgical technician; she works for a neurosurgeon. She preps patients for surgery, makes sure everything is copasetic before the surgeon comes in to perform. She hands him the surgical tools necessary to cut into the skull and makes sure the folds of skin stay where they are, ready with a suction tube in case too much blood gushes.
I can’t do any of that. I can barely change the tire on a bicycle. If you would put me in that operating room I would most certainly cause death – or even worse, cause a malpractice suit that would have me to the neck in legal fees. I admire my mom and her ability to perform professionally in the operating room. She has been working for the same neurosurgeon for twenty years, as well as on and off with other doctors through the years, but she has proved herself to be reliable and focused and very good at what she does. She prides herself in how well she has done – although she is modest – I know for a fact she makes more money than my father did in the electrical engineering business. In fact, I don’t know much about what my father did growing up. I do know that it was a small source of bitterness between the two of them because I remember my father saying once – after my parents had split – that he should get to claim me as a dependent because mom made more money. Maybe he felt a little bit less successful than her. My parents split up and my father retired. But mom still works.
I realized talking to mom at the pool that mom is analytical just like me. She loves to interpret what’s going on and has a very shrewd mind. She’s just been insecure for most of her life, so that part of her personality does not come out at first. It surprises me that she got involved in fundamentalism when she was younger but I think the movement fueled into her need to be accepted. Richard Rodriguez talks about not being accepted by family once you are “educated.” But then again, Henry Adams wrote about being educated at Harvard but not learning anything. I am okay with being like Iris Murdoch. I can learn all kinds of stuff, and in the end, act like a baby.